Can someone constructively critque my introduction for an essay?

“Conformity is the jailor of freedom and the enemy of growth.” (JFK) Since the start of the twentieth century, conformity has been a potent force that has become rife in society. From the Nazi propaganda machine in the 1940’s to the CIA mind control experiments in the 1980’s, conformity has had a negative influence on the world; reducing individuals to emotionless tools, devoid of any identity. “One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey and “New Houses” by John Brack both explore the discourse of conformity through three distinct points of connection: the extreme sites of conformism, the rigid order and control apparent in both texts, and the continuity of the machine which is made clear in both texts. Both texts represent conformity as a suppressive force that inhibits individualism and freedom in order to highlight the negative effects of this condition in society.
sorry typo in question (critique)

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  1. Ryan Hill says:

    you use of the semicolon in the 2nd sentence is not correct. a semicolon takes the place of a conjungutoin and a comma

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